winding down

how does he know i’m going?

don’t know but he suggested we talk about my questions face to face when we meet which from my perspective both seem unnecessary.

i’ve learned, or i’ve told myself i’ve learned not to second guess my emotions.

what i think on the other hand, that always seems to be in need of examination.

emotions confirm he’s flirting and thoughts tell me to leave it at that cause i know how far across the desert my camel ass can carry a thought.

that aside i get the sense that most everyone is in vacation mode and it’s cyclical enough to create a form of celebration for me too. it means communications and requests wind down considerably which doesn’t mean i stop working – just means i get more done.

philosophically though not so much; it’s just one of my more comfortable self-deceit cycles. the truth is i just don’t know what to do with myself when people stop talking to me.

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