out of answers

Hoping to find something exciting in my candle collection cabinet a kid finds an ‘old’ box of Cards Against Humanity and proceeds to show surprise and excitement at his find.

I’d forgotten about the cards as they were filed away years ago after purchasing them in a family game hoarding mode, opening them and realizing how inappropriate they were for children.

So for the last two days we’ve played until tired of laughing at the asinine combinations created in our mutual late night early morning exhaustion. Whilst playing there is an angel and a demon on the same shoulder calling me out for being a horrible mother, and I agree as a fifteen year old slams down two cards that make everyone laugh at the idea of headless babies being dropped as bombs on a country at war.

I look at the angel and devil in a mirror across the hall and explain I have no more fight while asking if they found it funny. I look at my cards and wonder what kind of mother I am while deciding whether to say out loud ‘my vagina’ as an answer. The angels are shaking their heads in disappointment at my thought process as I counter back with an explanation about how Uno, Monopoly, Yahtzee, and Scrabble bore them to tears. It’s ‘family time’ I counter as they stare waiting on my answer.

“My vagina!” I said slamming my card down.

It was met with “Ugh’s”, “Yuck’s” and “Gross Mom!” around the table.

“See. I still got it,” I said to the angels. Finally they laughed too.

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