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Robert.

We’re far enough apart that my writing and his identity would not likely be linked. Enough time has passed that it’s clear I was the rebound relationship and since he was my first, the idea of rebound was foreign to me.

He came up in my mind as we were discussing the various places we might move to next. For whatever reason I recalled telling him I was moving across town after graduation and him telling me he couldn’t be with me anymore because it was too far.

At the time I was devastated but not so much I still didn’t move. He came to visit a day later. He came to visit every day for two months and eventually moved in. Outside of convenience there was little purpose to our living together, though back then size counted and I recall feeling safe with him. He was built like the hulk and had the demeanor of a kitten. Generally unassuming yet still not someone most would fuck with.

Dark as shit. Darker than me. Way way way darker than me.

He taught me so many things but today when he crossed my mind I was reminded of times he’d ask me something related to his sense of worthlessness. He truly couldn’t see the parts of him cocooned in the light, the parts that made him the perfect shade of gray in my eyes. I’d share those parts hoping one day he’d realize I wasn’t bullshitting just cause I loved him. He’d accept it for it was because it was all I had to give, and he’d always say it was enough for one more day.

So never forget that. Always know that someone sees your light and that someone else may not know how to tell you how grateful they are for your presence because it’s enough for one more day.

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