. . . getting it in where we can

at lunch it was my turn to look dumbfounded as guy one asked guy two to join our table and our conversation. but oh no, um, can we be done talking about the sex now? the guy he’d called over had been reeking with sex energy for the last four days straight so he was the last person on earth i wanted to join the talk. how do i know? cause each morning was filled with upward dogs and he managed to place his mat next to mine each time and bark. maybe it should have been flattering, exciting, or something along the lines of impending possibility but it felt like the school janitor that always offered to carry my lunch to the lunch tables. it’s not like i was attempting to carry a carcass of cow or something – it was usually a slice of cardboard pizza. anyway, guy comes over, leans next to me and asks if he can get me anything. i glance down at the spread in front of me and question why two plates of food and two filled drink glasses seem an inappropriate person to gluttony ratio. i tell him no thanks and he sits next to me with a big smile as i catch guy one give guy two a secret look. threesome. it was my next thought. but if i were gonna go the threesome route it wouldn’t have been with them. i start laughing at how i’d manifested the situation by spending in an inordinate amount of time thinking about the carnal side of my nature months before. guy two laughs with me. creepy. guy one moves straight into asking guy two how guys in general approach women. guy two starts out by saying, “we get it in where we can!” before bringing him and guy one into a laughing fit. he was being honest.

i went silent, still, and stoic before excusing myself. i pretended to go to the bathroom but instead kept walking to my room half a mile away. it was quiet and while passing by the monkeys questioned my sensitivity and rudeness in just leaving. i questioned manifestation, prayers, and whatever words could be applied to the season i was in. i wanted to go home, never see those guys again or acknowledge how dumb it was to bring the subject up like i was looking for advice on picking a ripe watermelon. i didn’t want to believe anyone would just want to get it in but all the men that had been inside my mom led me to consider the truth while not facing the men that had been inside of me. there’s only one person i want inside of me so maybe i should stop pretending otherwise and adding pain where it need not be added.

Blog at WordPress.com.