k.

k. has cancer. last year she had radiation and after several treatments shows improvement. even so, she hasn’t gotten better. talked to her husband a few days ago and she has more tests coming up this week. she’s had trouble walking as of late. he said several things are pointing to an autoimmune disorder of some kind. i asked how he felt about it and he said it wasn’t looking good. i’ve known him for a lot of years so for him to respond with something other than positive words in even the most dire of outlooks said a lot. it also meant her being sick had reached him in a place he doesn’t let himself get too very often. he’s of the opinion that autoimmune disorders are worse than cancer which i found to be an odd statement so when i asked why he said it was related to quality of life. i won’t even pretend to understand what either of them are going through. i didn’t even offer words of comfort because i don’t think it works like that in these kinds of situations. i’m not sure. i did tell him to call me if he needed anything but those words were empty too cause he’s one of those people that won’t ever call for anything. i’m not like i used to be. i don’t show up on people’s doorsteps with soup and flowers anymore. i don’t call to ask how they are. i figure if i’ve never been invited to the inner circle then my presence isn’t wanted or needed and think i have it right this time. but prayer on the other hand can be done anywhere in silence. i’ve been on prayer warrior trains before and truly don’t know what my ticket said but if you’re reading and believe in prayer warrior journeys, i’d love you to take a moment of silence and join me on this one. the strength of their love will surely pull them through without us but i don’t see how some extra spiritual love energy can hurt. love and peace be with you too.

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