the next person

is you so i take soft direction and focus my gaze ever outwardly at your spirit that each day visits without fail, rain or shine, pained or joyful, hopeful or hopeless, and feeling worthy or worthless.

in 2021 i learned not to speak. i learned what it felt like to feel a storm wash through me while moving about the day carried by flashes of lightning. the value of not striking out to conduct a hail of validation came when at night the rivers receded and i lay spent in broad muds of separation, allowing silent miseries passage to the sky, becoming falling stars night after night.

i acknowledge every letter written not for me but simply from within you because each proved that in the silence i wasn’t alone. each proved you were still here and that my loving you wasn’t imagination. each proved that fantasy is little more than holding onto a gift in admiration and praying the gift will one day feel the warmth of your embrace.

thank you for making space in your heart though you may not recognize it as such. thank you for being the next person my heart turned to this morning. your energy inspires my passions, lights my soul and keeps me gazing softly in your direction, hoping you feel me near as the same river recedes.

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