clearly

luck has a hand in places led. it doesn’t bother me to be in the car. remember driving a u-haul across states to reach the second rental house i’d come to know. hadn’t seen the house in person but trusted everything would be okay. remember the streets leading up the house, the trees, the flowers, the community and a deep sense of wonder at how i couldn’t have imagined living in an area so clean, green and peaceful. it was very different from the surroundings i’d left. not better, just different. I now call it the home of the seven-year itch, because that’s how long it took the owners to decide it was time for them to move back in. the timing was perfect for several reasons; the main being that it woke me up to how comfortable i’d gotten not allowing myself to be led anymore. it’s also the place where the kids had the most time with me and felt the greatest sense of family. it was there i learned how important back yards and large kitchens can be. it was also there where i learned how to eat without food and teach without plans. i’m sitting in the car staring at trees and feeling happy because it reminds me of the person driving the u-haul extra slow down unfamiliar residential streets with a sense of disbelief because admiring nature feels different when you’re not forced to sleep in it and the little girl never forgets sleeping in abandoned placed atop dirt and clinging to a hunger she’d surely spend a lifetime attempting to digest.

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