of course there’s a pattern

when you learn the patterns you can figure out when something’s really wrong versus guessing based on the timing of published rants.

if you’re really good you can develop a formula and set your clock by it.

you gotta be really careful of accepting the less favored parts of yourself as eternally flawed. you gotta realize when you’ve made a real close relationship with those parts and how life could be if you let them go. saying i’m depressed is not the same as saying “my depression”. one is fleeting and the other is seen as forever. maybe it is forever but if so there’s still no need to build your world around that relationship. who’s gonna love you if you tell yourself you’re unloveable?

if you think of the ebbs and flows as cycles of diarrhea then using so much paper begins to make sense and in the end the sense of being emptied lends to feeling somehow cleaner.

tomorrow i’m going to build a snowman and then i’m going to eat it. the magic is that i don’t have to wait for the snow.

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